I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
