I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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