I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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