I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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