what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
