Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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