last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
