when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
someone owes me an orgasm
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
