hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
