I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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