So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Panties = found
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
