chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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