Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
