I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
