Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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