I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize