Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
love makes seman taste better
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
