Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
