so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
