Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
