and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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