I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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