Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
