that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
