do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
