I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
