Me. At least after what I've been through.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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