My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Sacagawea was the original milf.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
