I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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