On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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