It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
