I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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