I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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