We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
