Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
