There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
