Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
What a dumb baby whore.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
