i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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