i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
