Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
