MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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