we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize