Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
