What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
