It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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