big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize