I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
