I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
