there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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