Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
