Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
we should paint friendship bongs
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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