i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
