I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
