where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize