He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize