I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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