he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
