is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Dicks are not precious.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
