A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize