I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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