omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
