my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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