people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
