I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
