i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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