Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
