Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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